Report on 31 Aug 2005

Its the end of the month of August. As stated previously, we will have exclusive reports from the school which should not be named as Merlion Institute (Branch). Or is it Meridien Institution? Never mind that.
As stated previously, today we shall have a special report on the stand-in principal Mr Rojammil today.
We shall start with the number 1 activity that Mr Rojammil is so obsessed with. The Special Ops Command. Throughout this course, students will be trained to overcome various obstacles, mentally and physically, and phycially attune them with the physical demands of the other school activities. This is implemented by the Ministry for everybody in the school, ranging from students to principal. Mr Rojammil has been a fanatic supporter of this plan and has actively sought to have a 100% pass rate for it. In the beginning, the training is done twice a week. However as the students have more commitments with their dog training in August, it has been reduced to once a week. Tests have been conducted during these sessions and most of the students passed.
We have interviewed some of the failures and were shocked to hear their comments.
A certain uncouthed student has commented. "FAIL 不是人 AH?..." The comment has been summarised since it contains some vulgarities. Basically, he mentioned that the failures will not have recess time and have to stay back after school and do remedial. Sometimes, they have to go back to school during weekend. Another student, mentioned something of interest to the readers. He mentioned that Mr Rojammil was nuts over this activity. Initially, before the start, he talked about passing the test as a requirement for graduating from the school and that everybody will have to take it. "If anybody fail, we will have him come back on weekend for remedial and I will come back too if i happen to fail." However, the student claims that on the first test, Mr Rojammil came up with a doctor's letter that exempts him from physical assertions. Another student on this incident: "He (Rojammil) purposely get MC skip test one." We have contacted Mr Rojammil for comment on this. He said, "I wanted to take the test, but my physique demands otherwise. I'm sure the students have seen me putting in some effort during their training. Regarding Saturdays, its if I fail. How can I fail if i have not taken the test"
Finishing off the sentence with a wide grin on this square face. "Got MC still wan play soccer", someone from behind shouted. When we turn back to ask for his comment, Mr Rojammil has vanished.

Reporter Ruah Iew reporting from Physics Lab Company

This story has been reproduced from today's media and is not necessarily the position of http://imthemostirritatingbastard.blogspot.com/

D&D Competition

Its the bimonthly Design & Doodle Competition once again. This time round, it is rather different. Lets have a look back at the previous one.
In the last competition, this D&D competition was organised by the school. This time round the MOE has put a foot into it and decided to organise this instead. Previously, 22 students were forced to submit an entry to the competition. In the final round of judging, the winner of the this competition is non other than one of the teachers. This time around, the participants are no different. Its still the same 22 unhappy participants. However, will their entries be good enough to emerge as victor? Or will the teachers win it again? Who will receive the coveted prize and recognition? Stay tune next month....

PS. Pls submit your entries no matter how gd or bad it is by today, 31 Aug, to one of the 2 ICs

Keep This Within Yourself

The Site address is changed because surveys has been done and its found out that its getting too popular. No, I'm not stop you from spreading to those that deserve to read this blog. Yes, I hope all those that are in National Science Foundation Department can read the blog. But please try not to spread it openly or even surf in the office, as the saying goes, 'the walls have ears'. I understand that some are going to be posted to Office of Research and Development, or maybe even Office of Rare Diseases. Whatever it is, some of us are still going to be around and we don't want to get OT for nothing. Thanks for your help. =)

Oh ya, one last thing, please post comment after you have read our post. If not we will think there is no one reading. Quite demoralising, you know? Haha.

MoonWars Episode 8879899714 : The Boss Strikes Back

Hello to all those mindless pple reading this. In case you are wondering who am I, I'm the boss of ur beloved blogger, aka Mr BARCODE. And in case if you are wondering how did i end up here, i shall tell you how. Your this little friend was surfing this webside in his office(yes right in the office). How stupid can one be? Never mind. I shall comment on his second post, A Day In The Office.

He mention dogs a lot in his post. I shall define dog first. This is what i found at Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary.

1. a highly variable domestic mammal (Canis familiaris) closely related to the common wolf (Canis lupus)
2 . a worthless person
3: an undesirable piece of merchandise9 : an unattractive person and especially a girl or woman

Now you should understand the meaning of dog. Now for my defination of dog.

1. Anyone that is working under me.
2. Anyone that is under my command.
3. Both of the above.

As you can see from above, your wonderful owner of this blog is catagarise as dog. Yes, DOG. *woof woof* Was it me or there is a dog barking behind? Oh, forgot to mention im currently in my office now. Anyway, to tell you the truth, I dont seriously treat them as human. They are dogs. My dogs. I can ask them to carry boxes from store A to store B then store B to store A as and when I like. I can ask them to come back on saturday for extra work. Even if they try to complain to the trade union, I won't give in.

Now for setting up this blog, I'm goin to get back at them. They are goin to report for work extremely early, and take my 2 dogs(named Mo-Ho-Chio and soooo-farkup) for a run. Yes, dogs taking dogs for run. Oh well, shall end here. Guess you should stop coming to this blog as he will be too busy to add any more post.

Your kindest and generous boss,
Knights of the Square Table.

Report on 30 Aug 2005

It's been some time since the implementation of single morning session schools. One particular School, which we shall not name as Merlion Institution (Branch), have been following this guideline strictly. The main aim of having single session school is to enable students to have afternoons for their CCAs. The students of this particular school, in addition to their afternoon commitments have to take part in the "compulsory" sports and games implemented by the school HOD (Lit) cum vice principal Mr Rojammil. This is in addition to their core curriculum within the morning school hours.
Recently, another program has been implemented by one of the teachers of one of the class. Mr Moh Hoe Chio, has asked the students of this class to go to school early to have additional physical training. When asked about this new program, Mr Moh said, "This morning exercise will come sooner or later. During our last meeting, the new HOD, Mr Tom Birdman has already wanted to put this into place for the whole school. So, being the typical kiasu Singaporean that he is, he started this early." Mr Birdman, however, is not available for comments at this moment.
When we interviewed the students involved in this, they replies were negative. Some said that it was too tiring, a few mentioned that their legs were barely able to walk.
Will this school succeed in wat it plans to do? Or will the students finally decide to rebel against the authorities? Only time will tell. Keep your eyes glued to this page for a more detailed coverage on the school's teacher.

Tomorrow: Mr Jarommil.

Reporter Ruah Iew reporting from Physics Lab Company.

This story has been reproduced from today's media and is not necessarily the position of http://imthemostirritatingbastard.blogspot.com/

Saturday

It's Saturday.

Enjoy and Treasure your Weekend

Weekend is Precious

Life as a Sercurity Guard

Working as a Sercurity Guard in a Sercurity Company. Jus do not understand, why I land in such a lousy Sercurity Company. Other companies always win the contracts of guarding millions of dollars worth installation during weekdays, and my company only can get the contracts for weekends cos no one bid for weekends, they only bid for weekdays. Other sercurity personnel in other companies, enjoying their weekends with families, while me and my collegues have to carry out our job during the weekend. Poor collegues. I am a very hardworking Sercurity Guard, any company finding one, I am willing to take a pay cut and jump to your Company.

Studying at Home

Sad, I have a stepfather who never treats me good. Recently, he keep scolding me about my cannot make it results of one of my subject. It is not that I do not wan to pass that subject, but the thing is I not interested and also that subject is nt my strength and I am really weak in it. But problem is I study 3 subjects only, so cant drop that subject, if nt I am not allow to graduate.
Everyday, I am forced by my stepfather to stay at home to study immediately after I came back frm school. I am not allowed to go out at night, even hav dinner with my friends at the aircon kopitiam with television and big screen(although the big screen recently spoilt cant watch my favourite Wigan play) also cannot. Now saturday, he also wan me stay at home study and study. I cant even watch my favourite cartoon Pokemon, dunnoe Togepi showing ornt, cos long time nvr switch on Kids Central liao, cos not allowed to watch, only mus study. Think soon I cant stop going to Church liao. cos I might oso be forced to stay at home to study on Sunday. God, Jesus, u mus forgive me. My stepfather oso hired a maid, always cook cannot make it food for me to eat. sometimes, she never cook wan take away food frm my favourite kopitiam as mentioned above for me oso cannot. tink my stepfather no money, so dun wan my maid to take away food back from me. If this continues, think need to use my own pocket money to buy cup noodles put at home liao. everyday, giv me so little pocket money, now still hav to use tat small amt to buy cup noodles. I think I getting depression, maybe soon I going to push my father into the fire like wat happens in the movie"The Maid" by Raintree Pictures. I haven watch that movie yet, and wat happen in the movie also is heard frm by my fren. Everyday, after school, mus come back home, where got time watch movie.

Half piece of my leaf jus flew away

My poor plant, has about 20+leaves, but recently keep blowing very big wind, causes my plant keep losing half piece of leave by half piece of leave, tink soon before Children Day, my whole plant already withered to death. Poor Plant. R.I.P

To HOTChix,

Today is a bad day. Father don't give me go out. Three days at home can die. Want to cycle to school also cannot. Now go school take bus take very long time. Other stupid people cycle fall down is they useless. I cycle also never fall down before. Last time go PE fall down also never see Father ban me from PE. Last time go school get SARS also never never hear him say "You cannot go to school anymore". If only... Now grow up already cycle also cannot. This is what i wanted to tell Father..
"Knn la CB. you say last time ma ta wear shorts.. chinatown no escalator leh.. that kum gong fren cycle also dunno how to cycle.. knn can fall down.. until the tyre until become like fuck like that.. hope that gong CB take plane go afrika get eaten by tigers la.. if cycling dangerous u go ask garment ban bicycle la.. ask all the shop dun sell bicycle la.. na bei... if tink cycle can die then i think chinamen more than half die die liao la.. still got so many chinamen around meh.. u think ur ah gong ah ma last time in mainland drive car ah? they fucking ride bicycle lo.. u think wat.. u wan me stay at home THREE days.. lan jiao ok.. wat can u do? go buy big padlock lock me up? fuck u... i call police ah.. knn lock me in la.. i say u abuse me.. wan me clean dishes? fuck u! u see b4 flying saucer? i every day go out 72 hours i song leh.. u wan u break my legs la.. hahaa.. lao cb.. anyway ah.. i think ur colleague's car going to bang bus liao.. tink nex time u dun drive subaru to work la.. bus safer.. fuck u!"
That is about all that i have to say. Thank you for ur listening ear.

From,
Son of a FUCKER

To Son,

Few months back, my son finally learnt how to ride bicycle on two wheels. I'm very proud of him. So he bought himself a bicycle using his own allowance as a reward. He cycled everyday to school. It was until recently, one of my colleague told me that he met wif an accident sometime back while cycling to work during a thunderstorm. He even showed us a picture of his bicycle after the accident.



So as a worried dad, i decided to ban my son from riding his bicycle to school. Upon reaching home that night, i told my son during dinner than he must not ride to school anymore. He didnt say anything. Guess he cant do anything too, 'cause im the BIGGEST in the family. Because I go to work very early in the morning, and i trusted my son to obey my orders, I did not check on him.

So it was yesterday when i was shopping, i met one of my son's classmate. I don't know why but he jus told me out of no reason that my son is still riding to school. I was so mad that I went straight home and reprimanded my son. I also have him grounded for three days and have him do the housework.

Why cant U understand how i feel as a DAD. WHY!!! WHY MUST U MAKE ME GO TO SUCH EXTREMES? Haiz...


From,

DaD

A dAy iN dA oFfiCe.. paRt 2..

Afternoon also dulan.. our boss suppose give us take half day leave.. but cannot.. change office and then clean out all the spiders and webs take until 1 o'cock..still cannot go home.. lunch also haben eat.. fuuarrking hungwee.. still must listen barCode tok coCk.. come on time nebermind.. still wan to come late.. kpcb one.. wait and wait.. then he say nex week got CEO coming in.. then wan us take camera go take video welcome him.. i kana shock.. wtf still same person wat.. this few yrs see him until sian liao.. make ppl no holiday this week liao not enough.. (although our dept not affected) still wan us to go take picture of that old neh neh.. ppL rather go watCh supErstAr final lo~ somemore still need test see camera got spoil or not.. knn wan spoil will confirm spoil one la.. test test testicals.. this news still not enough.. somemore still ask special ppl stay back! yesterday leg pain nv bring dOg go train.. monday come back must bring the faRked up doG go.. kNn sunday got OT still wan us go.. kan suay.. talK tOk tAlk until almost 2 o'coCk! then let us go on leave.. wTf!! i thouGht suppose half day.. half day suppose 12 hours.. not 4 houRs!! kNn.. sibei dulan day..

A dAy iN thE oFfIce... Part 1..

This morning dulan. My DOG wake me up farking early juz to bring him out for a RUN. But it was raining farking big. So i tot no more, however at 9am, my DOG came barking at me. So i bo bian hav to bring it out for a RUN to tire him out so he wont kpkb anymore. One shot ran 12km. Never mind. I Ren. It still continue to kpkb. REN!! Oh ya.. forgot to tell you.. my DOG is joining the DHM. DHM = Dog Half Marathon. PoWer Rite? Hmm.. maybe my DOG can even tok jus tat i dunnoe. Anyway, after tha RUN, i went to the office. Immediately after i sat down in my office, my BOSS told me that i have to move my office. FOR FARK? I dunnoe. End up pple at block A moving to Block B and pple at Block B to A. Brainless rite? Oh, forgot to introuduce my BOSS. He is called MR BARCODE-THAT-THINKS-WITHOUT-GOIN-THRU-HIS-BRAIN.

For part 2.. dun miss the next Exciting episode of A dAy iN thE oFfIce.

First In, No OUT!!!